Whirlwind
by Seren147
Summary: A glimpse into Bakura's mind during different times in his life with Ryou. Bakura POV. Rated for language, some content. BxR!


Hi everyone! I got inspired today and wrote out this short fic...I wanted to focus on different events of Bakura's life with Ryou - so each break is a scene from a different event in his life. And of course it's hard to resist delving into that complex psychie of his. He's just _so_ delicious_. _Anyway, the fic is told from **Bakura's POV**. Hopefully you all enjoy! Let me know what you think!

A/N 9/26: I'm editing Marik/Malik's names. When I wrote this, I put it Marik as in the Hikari, but my dear friend BakuBakuRemix thought I was talking about Yami Marik...so yeah, changing that. Officially for this fic, Malik = hikari and Marik = yami!

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**_Whirlwind_**

* * *

I grab my keys off of the table and head like a whirlwind out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind me. I leave Ryou behind, words unspoken, because even though I have lived three thousand years, I still can't manage to utter an honest word. It's just the way I am, and I honestly (haha that's ironic) don't think I can ever change. Or I refuse to change. Either way, who the fuck cares? I do what I do best (I'm not running) and escape into the darkness of the night. It welcomes me in and brings me a subtle feeling of peace, if peace I've ever felt. It takes me in and blends with my mind, my mood, and the state of my soul. Although, compared to the night, my soul is infinitely blacker, like what I've seen on Ryou's TV – the program on that science (magic) channel about black holes. I laughed when I first watched the program about these "dark holes" that reside in the deep abyss of space. I felt like I had finally found a visual definition for my hunger. I am a black hole - an insatiable darkness outside of time and space as these foolish mortals know it.

I chuckle darkly to myself as I straddle my black streamlined motorcycle, inserting the keys and revving the engine as I burst forward with dangerous speed. I blend in with the night, all except my silver hair glinting in the moonlight. But I ride fast, and I'm gone before anyone ever gets a chance to glance in my direction. I own the night. I am the abyss. I swallow the light whole and I crush it into oblivion.

_Wrong._ That's what Ryou tells me. How I feel is _wrong._ How I act is _wrong. _What I do is _wrong._ What does he know? If it's _wrong_, then why does it feel so absolutely _right_? Why does it feel like I'm no truer to my identity then when I do these _wrong_ things? I shrug off his words, because I know he doesn't understand. And it doesn't bother me. Nothing does in this moment. He may love me in spite of who I am, but he'll long be buried under this ground I'm riding over before he hears the words that he so desperately wants to hear from me. But I can't help it. It's just who I am.

* * *

Ryou enters the apartment and I glare at him over my bottle. He hates to see me drinking, and that's all I need to motivate me to drink until he comes home to find me. I like to kill two birds with one stone when I'm in these…moods. But that's not all it is. Let me back up, while I'm being honest (haha) with myself. Kul Elna starts me drinking, and then I think of Ryou, and why _not_ share the rage that I feel? Ryou wants me, I know that, and even better, I know that he wants to feel wanted in return. If I can't share love, then why not hate? At least I can _feel_ hate, and when I _feel_ hate, I feel _alive._ He could wait with bated, dying breath before I would ever speak of love. But there's no need to wait for hate.

He enters and I take a nice long drink, eyes lidded from my drunkenness. Oh yes, I have been preparing for this for quite a few hours now.

"Finally home, eh?" My voice sounds gravelly even to my own ears. I take another drink, just to rub it in Ryou's face. He looks unhappy, and this pleases me even more. This giddiness feeds my hate in some weird way. Am I making sense? In my drunken state, I'm not sure, but I think so. I think it even turns me on a little. The hate makes me happy…the only time I'm happy is when I'm plotting or acting out my hate. I love spreading my darkness and my corruption in this already dark and corrupted world, adding to the mayhem. Drink it up, world – you made me!

But I digress.

I _am_ drunk, and a dark excitement shivers through my body. I rise up, facing Ryou, who stands in the middle of the room, looking at me.

"Want some?" I hold up the bottle, mocking him. He doesn't respond. Eh, he's not going to be much fun tonight. He always kills my mood when he doesn't fight back. I know how to get him though…I always do.

I put the bottle down on the table next to where I was sitting, and slowly walk (stumble) my way to the boy. I'm filled to the brim tonight, and I have a lot to give. Do I hate him, or do I hate me? Do I hate my past, or do I hate my present? I hate that I'm not able to figure these things out. And that makes me hate more.

I don't give him any warning. As soon as I reach him I roughly grab the back of his head with my palm and crush his lips under mine. He resists, but not much. Not that it would matter if he resisted more. He always gives in, eventually.

I shove my tongue in his mouth and hear him moan under me. He sounds like he's in ecstasy…and in pain. The noise feeds me and I grab his arms hard enough to leave bruises in the morning.

He still doesn't move to touch me, but he pants under me. I know he wants me. I chuckle into his mouth and then pull away. His eyes look at me with lust, yet he still doesn't move towards me. Good. He knows his place.

I smirk, and then I'm all over him, ripping his clothes off. We tumble to the ground and he cries out in pain as I knock the breath out of him when I land on top of him. It doesn't stop me though. Nothing will. I rip into him and he lets me. I bite and I nip and I leave dark bruises and blood in my wake. I take him without regards to preparation, and it makes my blood sing. The dominance and the power mingle with his running blood, and he isn't crying, no, he's desperately holding onto me, taking everything I give him, as if he can't get enough. At times I've wondered why he's like this when I'm ravaging him, but then I remember – we're two sides of the same coin. He's just as freaky as me, and though he would never admit it, I know it in these moments.

* * *

Marik once accused me of being a sick motherfucker because of the things I like to do to upset Ryou. Because of the ways it amuses me to rile him up, to get his blood pumping. And, since Marik is the biggest motherfucker _I_ know, I guess I took his words as a compliment. Tonight I have something _really_ fun in store for Ryou. I keep any eye out and make sure my timing is perfect.

As soon as he comes through the apartment door I make sure to utter what I think is a slutty moan. His eyes widen as he takes in the scene, and his expression is just _delicious._

Malik is on his knees in front of me, bobbing his head up and down, sucking me off. As I watch Ryou take in the scene, my excitement grows, and oh it's just the _perfect_ timing because suddenly Malik's mouth is filled with my load, and I laugh as Ryou cries out, then turns and runs to his room.

Ignoring Malik, who's wiping at his mouth, I get up, still naked from the waist down, and go down the hall to Ryou's room. I knock on his door, laughing because the expression he had had on his face was just _so_ funny.

I knock again and call out "Wanna join? Malik is _such_ the little slut!"

He doesn't answer and I don't expect him to. I just laugh to myself again because I love it when he fucking _hates_ me.

* * *

I grumble darkly to myself. Ryou actually got me to go out with him tonight, and that _hardly_ ever happens. I guess it's not _that_ bad, because I do like to see the scared looks people give me when they see me, and how they will cross the street just to avoid passing within arm's reach of me. They are all foolish, blind mortals, yet they still know somewhere in their primitive little brains that it's best to avoid me. I would crush them, break them apart and bathe in their blood. This is what I am thinking of the entire way to Ryou's favorite pizza place, where we have dinner.

I hate all these good-for-nothing fools that surround me, oblivious to how close they are to their demise. And their eyes…oh yes, I notice how they look at Ryou. They look at him like he's some piece of meat, ready to be devoured. He exudes sex appeal, albeit innocently. He can't help it…but he belongs to me, not them. They should know their place. I start to see red as the heads turn when we get up to leave the pizza place, and by the time we're almost home, I've nearly had it. I'm actually faintly surprised I've held out this long. When I notice someone lingering near our apartment complex though, ogling Ryou, I just lose it.

Before I know it, Ryou's frantically tugging at me, begging me to stop, and as I pull back, I see my hands covered with blood from the figure lying on the ground below me. I'm not sure what happened, all I know is that my rage is so great, and next thing I know I'm suddenly in a shower with Ryou, who's washing the blood off of my body. Then he's putting ointment on the cuts across my knuckles, then he's kissing me and murmuring softly. I don't hear what he says, I just let him do whatever he's doing, thankful at least that it wasn't Ryou I hit this time, that it wasn't Ryou I had bloodied.

* * *

"You know, they say we shouldn't be together."

I startle slightly at the voice behind me.

"They say we should go our separate ways."

I turn around and growl out, "Who's they?"

Ryou glances sideways, then shrugs. Of course he'd never say, but we both know that I know who "they" are. His pathetic friends. Sure, I may abuse him sometimes, but am I really that bad?

That makes me chuckle. Of course I am.

"Well tough shit," I tell him, "we're bound."

He looks at me thoughtfully, and yes, I see the love there. I roll my eyes and scoff at his expression as I push past him. Sitting down on the couch, I grab the remote and turn the TV on. Ryou comes and sits close beside me. Almost in my lap.

When he's like this sometimes it makes me feel ill. I swallow, and yeah, I feel it. It's such a _weird_ feeling, since I hardly ever get sick. My stomach knots and there is a warm kind of feeling inside of me. It reminds me of the hot touch of blood and suddenly a phantom taste of iron enters my mouth.

He notices none of this. I'm only squirming on the inside.

"I could never leave you anyway." He says, continuing the conversation.

I feel more ill at his words, and his _stupidly_ pleasant mood. I swallow again, saying nothing. Ryou…I think he's delusional. He acts like I don't hit him, curse him…he acts like I don't…cheat on him. Not that it's cheating. Damn. Somehow I seem to feel maybe a tiny bit…guilty…about that night with Malik, when Ryou walked in on us. I had planned it out, and it seemed like such a good idea at the time. I thought it would be funny. And it _was_ funny, but…I don't know. Better not to think about it.

My attention turns back to Ryou, because now he's got his hand resting on my thigh. Oh yes, we'll fuck. I'm not worried about that. It's just this feeling in my chest that makes me feel unsettled. He always…confuses…me when he's like this. Not that I'd tell him that. And I could, if I really wanted to. I could tell him those things he wants so badly to hear. I could tell him I love him, that I will never leave him. I could tell him I would never curse him again, never raise my hand to his angelic face again. I could apologize for all the times that I had.

But my resolve is settled. I am who I am, and anything I said to him would just be a lie. Doesn't matter if I broke the promise in the short term or the long term, it would eventually be broken. I'm committed to Ryou by the magic of the Millennium Ring, and that's as close to the traditional sense of "commitment" that we'll ever get.

But then it dawns on me.

That magic that the Ring wields that binds us together makes it impossible for me to ever leave Ryou. And hadn't I just said that to him? _We're bound._ Yes, I had just said that to him, only moments before. And yet I didn't fully comprehend what I was saying. We'll always be connected in this life, no matter what.

"Bakura?" His voice interrupts my thoughts. "You have a weird look on your face."

I smirk and don't answer, but I do put my arm around him. Yes, I _could_ tell him. I could honestly tell him that I'll never leave him.

But I don't. It's just not my nature.

At this moment, I don't feel the blind fury and hate that my thoughts of Kul Elna imbue me with, but I'm still the same individual, with or without the rage. The reprieve is only temporary anyway. I know better than anyone that it _will_ return, and I _will_ hurt Ryou again.

But maybe not tonight.

I pull him closer and he snuggles into me. Soon we're all hands and skin and panting breath, but even_ I_ feel the difference tonight.

Tonight I managed to make love to Ryou. We didn't just fuck…I didn't demand and take heedlessly like I usually do (ok maybe just a little)…but it's a different feeling from usual, neither good nor bad, just…different.

Maybe I don't have to hate and plunder and rage _all_ of the time.

Maybe…

~fin~

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So what did you think? Please, leave a review and let me know! Reviews encourage me to write more, so thanks!

Until next time...

~Seren147


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